20/11 5.15 PM

It is always a bad day , Monday. Got to wake up early in the morning , to leave for mumbai. One day of joy that i get being with my family , abruptly ends every monday morning . I do not know when and where this is going to end.

Form last post till today, whole lot of things happened.

On 09th there was an income tax raid. As usual i loitered into the office , found an unfamiliar guy speaking on phone at guards table. Little did i know that , the guy was from Income tax and was posted there to ensure that nobody goes out , including anybody who walks in !

The sordid affair went on all thru the day. The It guys ransacked the office looking for anything they could lay hands upon to incriminate the owners. I wasn't under stress but was appalled with the way the entire thing was going on.

Anyway contrary to bang with which the search was launched by it guys in the morning , by late evening it almost fizzled out. I walked out of office at around 9.30 pm , more bothered about what i would get to eat than anything else.

My first impression about It raid was that it was useless affair , they wasted their time on an organization which had nothing to offer in terms of revenue or bribe. I wonder if this is the way IT dept zeroes on its targets in Mumbai , Only GOD can help them !!!.

The next day was saturday which got over before i could even start. I had made up my mind to leave office early & was on my way to poona by afternoon.

In evening i met old colleagues like paresh , chinna et all. It was a pleasant evening meeting all these guys over a drink after a very long patch. I just enjoyed their company after a very long time i was with the guys with whom i could relate with.

Sunday though looked to be good day , turned out to be nightmarish. First i woke up late & was out for some work (ticket booking) , it was almost 12'. Mamta called me informed me that elder son of Upendra dada had expired in bike accident.

I & Mamta reached Updendra dada's residence at around 1.30 pm , around the time devesh's body was brought in. The scene was quite sombre , young lad of all 25 years dies in a freakish bike accident , what a waste .

I could hear the wails of kaku & devesh's sisters & others .Their heart rending cries were too much for me and mamta. I just kept talking to myself that day , U cannot beat ur destiny ..... if it is destined no matter what u do , u will succumb to god's will.

May his soul rest in peace. But moot point is , how many indians die on roads in a year , i reckon more than US lost in ww-ii .

The sunday creep ed into monday without my konwing . The dark shadow of sundays happening kept disturbing my thought process .

Coming back today a week later this monday , it is not different. Salaries are no where in sight, most of staff speaks to hint about it. I curse myself , how do i land up at such place all the time. I barely was able to shake memories of n-logue (2004 ) . I feel like it is a black curse of n-logue which will follow me .

I was yesterday with mamta at the park , contemplating what to do next. How to give fillip to my flagging career. BPO was all that i could think of. Yes it is hobson's choice , but you have to look at it with another angle. If a job now provides u with ample opportunity to learn or upgrade ur skills it could only be BPOs.
I can feel that talent crunch for BPO is yawning in face of everybody. Time will come people like us will feel in the resource gap. There are articles here and there about how mature talent could stem the attrition rates.

I am giving a thought to it ! it was in my mind for a very long time , even before i landed up in pune. I have to look at it with more conviction and resolve.

I do not think i have plenty of choices left , i got to get may act together. I must not panic & get immobile . I must count my blessings and not my misfortunes.

Let me hope the next dawn in my professional life will bring more professional bliss !!!

Bye for today

09/11/2006

The day has started . I wake up everyday morning wondering , if i am on right track. Am i not wasting my time in mumbai with an unknown supplier of vending machines.

But always at the back of my mind Subrato's word ring " try best for work on hand". But the thoughts keep creeping back.

Am i expecting too much from myself. I have to realize that i am not the best person , so many of them have come and gone by.

I keep on nudging myself , to do better , to keep poistive frame of mind . Take one day at a time & do best. Think if i have gained out of that day anything. Have i learned a bit more than when i started in morning.

I must also realize being static is also dangerous. A person who does not strive to break from beaten path , may not suceed beyond a point.

Anyway i am running out of time. today onwards i will keep posting my thoughts happening good or bad ,so that i can analyze myself over period of time.