Move With The Flow, Learn To Let Go

We tend to cling to every object in our lives. We hold on to our profession, relationship or possession as if our entire world depends on them. We are so busy clinging to our own lives, that we have forgotten to live with the flow. We are afraid to move ahead, afraid to let go.
Life in essence is like an unobstructed, unrestrained, uncontrolled flow of a river. Life flows at its own pace and the ultimate source of all our pain and sufferings is our tendency to cling to and obstruct the flow. Professional life stagnates, relationships are broken, possessions are lost; all because we refused to let go when we were actually required to let things take their own course.
Why do we cling? We cling because change scares us; we cling because we are afraid to face the unknown, to face challenges; we cling because we feel secure if the status quo is maintained; we cling because we refuse to believe that life can never be static; because we refuse to accept the transience of everything; we believe that everything is in our hands. We do not have enough faith in life and that higher force which is omnipotent and omnipresent. In the chaos of existence, we have lost touch with our higher self. Most of us lead a life which is similar to that of a child who is lost in a crowd, separated from his guardians. He has nobody to place his faith on. He is afraid, insecure, suspicious about everyone and everything.
We live under the false illusion of having everything under our control. The spirit of getting things done becomes a problem when we continue to cling on even after we have exhorted all our efforts. We are overwhelmed by a sense of despair and disillusion when things move beyond our control. It is at this stage we need to learn to let go. Several times relationships are broken just because we tried too hard to make them work. We didn’t give the breathing space they required to grow. We didn’t let go and let them take their own course.
Professionally or personally, once all the efforts are made towards achieving a goal, we must learn to let go and let life take the best course. It might or might not be of one’s choice, but if we have faith, we will realise that it inevitably is the best course. We need to believe that forces above us are far better equipped to make judgments for us. We must learn to have faith in their judgment. Letting go, however, does not mean turning into a fatalist. One cannot sit idle in life and expect life to take care of itself. Karma, the fulfilment of one’s duties is the ultimate objective of all human existence and if we fail to fulfil our duties towards life, life inevitably fails us.
When God gives us dreams, He shares them with us. Whatever we consider our dreams, are actually His dreams and He gives us the capability to realise them. The part we are required to play is to ensure the optimum usage of the capabilities bestowed upon us. And once we have played our part with utmost honesty and effort, we need to let go, step aside and let God step in to fulfil our dreams. After all, they are His dreams, too.

Coping with Adverse Times

Different people measure success differently. While some may define success as the number of cars a person has, others see it simply as a steady job that pays the bills. Whatever the definition, most people shudder to think of themselves as a failure. Thomas Alva Edison, the inventor of the light bulb and 100 other inventions once said of his failures, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." To top that when he was a youngster, his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. He was counseled to go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.Bill Gates [Images], one of the most successful men of our times too went through tough times. In retrospect he says, "It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure."A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney [Images] because he "lacked imagination and had no original ideas". The list of people who succeeded after failures is long. However, great success doesn't happen to everyone. Twenty-eight-year-old Hemant Sabnis says success eluded him for almost 10 years."I tried for many jobs but could not get any," recollects the engineering graduate. "I was absolutely fed up. I must have sent out thousands of applications. I even got selected for a few interviews. And then something would go wrong. Either my qualification was a problem; sometimes even my body language was a problem."He remembers the times when he was so down in the dumps that he refused to meet people. "I would avoid my friends. I stopped going out," he reminisces, "Nothing interested me. I had almost lost all faith in myself."What then salvaged this young man? His father's trust in him. "My father is retired. He had a lot of aspirations from my sister and me. I realised that I wasn't being able to fulfill his wishes. That hurt even more than not being able to land a job," he adds. Then came a time that seeing his son morose saddened the father. "He told me that it was okay if I did not have a job. He was more hurt that I was depressed. It was then that I decided to give it one more shot," he says.This time around the circumstances were the same but Hemant's outlook had changed. He was now more positive. "I decided to try a different approach at interviews. I read up on how to be more jovial and smiled through my interviews," he says. And after three tries he was successful. He now works as a junior engineer in an iron moldings factory in Kolhapur. "I know the path ahead of me now. I also know there are a lot of people like me out there. I want to tell them that they need to have faith in themselves first. Things will eventually fall in place," he smiles. When the going gets toughVikas Bhande* from Mumbai has a similar tale to tell. Vikas was born into a poor family where his mother, the sole breadwinner, was employed as a maid. He recollects days when they had little or no food. "For years my mother did people's dishes and scrubbed people's floors," says this spunky 25-year-old, "Her aim was to provide education for all three of us. My other siblings though didn't study too far."Vikas was always interested in studies. However, one incident changed the purpose of his entire life. That was in his fifth standard. "I failed my exam in the fifth standard," he recollects, "My brother and sister had already made it clear that they are not going to study. My mother was very upset. She had pinned her hopes on me and I had let her down."His mother cried that entire night and prayed to god. "I always thought my mother was strong. I had seen her smile through the toughest of situations," he remembers, "When I saw her cry like that, I realised I had disappointed her. I was ashamed of myself."That's when he decided to change the tide. "I studied very hard the next year and came third," he smiles. Since then there was no looking back.He studied diligently even through their tough times. "Trouble began when I reached higher classes and my expenses started mounting. When I passed my tenth my mother's employees decided to sponsor my education. That's how I completed my education," he recollects.While pursuing his own studies, Vikas realised he could supplement the family income by taking tuitions. "I started taking tuitions. I saved up and did a course in networking," he recollects, "Today I have my own little business where I look after networks of small companies. I have even hired two people."His mother stopped working when Vikas' tuitions were enough to cover family expenses. Today with her only daughter married and her two sons taking care of her needs, Vikas says she has little to complain of.Ask him how he did it? "After my first failure, I never had time to think or cry over my situation," he recollects, "I knew I had to get my mother out of other's homes. There was nothing else on my mind."Secret ingredientsThese two stories probably do not warrant a bravery award. Yet these two brave men teach you a lot about failure. Here are some life lessons to learn from them:Have faith in yourself and your abilities.Don't be too proud to ask for help.One door closes, but another door somewhere is opening. Be alert.Work towards improving yourself all the time. Never be complacent.If today is not going the way you want it to, don't fret. Tomorrow will be a brighter day.Set your own standards for failure and success. Be rigid about your limits on failure, but not about success.Bear in mind that neither success nor failure is everlasting. However, you can work towards making your success last longer.Work hard, smart and faithfully. You will never know when you will be recognised for your effort.Don't feel disheartened or sad, do something that energises you.Smile. It will obscure the darkness of failure and outshine the glory of success.*Names changed to protect privacy
Posted by P K Kothari at 6:54 AM